Hi, What do you do with a mother-in-law that has made it her mission in life to make your life as miserable as possible? It started at our wedding where she stood up and announced to everyone that she would see to it that the marriage wouldn't last six months. Over the years I have graciously endured her spying, lying, and sneaking around just to keep us under her control. I thought I could handle anything she could dish out until a little over four years ago when my son was born. I have an early childhood background, that is what my major was for goodness sakes. Needless to say I knew a little about caring for children. One of the choices we have made is to homeschool our son. Upon hearing this she said she would take us to court and stop at nothing to see that this didn't happen. Our little guy had his tonsils out last week. I'm not sleeping because I want to make sure that he's alright. So, instead of offering to help she calls fifteen times (no kidding) per day to make sure that I am taking care of him according to her standards. We have tried kindly telling her that we are his parents, and that we are responsible for his well being. She then goes into a rage calling our friends telling them all manner of untrue things about us. I would love to put an end to this peacefully, but what can one do? ARRRGH, in Dallas. Darlin', I apologize for taking such an age to respond, having foolishly misfiled your letter. I hope things have improved. In case they have not, however, you're in luck. Mama knows the secret here, which is in two parts: (a) let your spouse do all the talking when there is a conflict and (b) make sure he does not mention you at all (I'm assuming he, please forgive me if I'm mistaken). His mother is laboring under the delusion that you are the worst thing that could have happened to her poor baby, and it's her mission to save him. Really what this is, is that she is insecure and doesn't feel needed anymore, and that frightens her. She is scared and lonely. He meant everything to her, he left her for you, he has his own life now, etc. Really if you can keep this in mind--I am guessing she is a woefully unhappy creature--and be compassionate, things will go better, too. Eventually you will be able to do things that make her feel needed and valued, and you should avail yourself of every opportunity to do this, for your husband's sake, and also just to be a nice guy. Meanwhile, he talks to her whenever there is the slightest dispute. If she gets stroppy, you say quite cheerfully, "You know what? I'd just as soon John figured this out with you. He's right here!" And you just plain old stay out of it, and act saintly. This really works, because very soon, she will no longer be able to blame you for anything. And he will learn how to deal with her in a way that leaves you right out of it, too, which will be great for him; this sort of thing is very difficult on both spouses, and it will really strengthen your marriage if you can solve the problem together. Good luck, sweetie. Love, Mama